Can You Not Be 'That' Dad!
by wolf-shadow666
Summary: "Imagine Henry trying to explain internet memes to Killian" "Or in which Henry comes to regret his decision, tenfold." with an added bonus of Wish Hook at the end. Captain Cobra centered fic (established pairings, and if you squint you'll get a little bit of Hooked Queen at the end with Wish Hook and Regina) (2nd chapter is simply a requested continuation prompt)
1. Chapter 1

Has the thing been done yet?! Please tell me the thing hasn't been done yet! If the thing _has_ been done… well… here, have another. (Story also posted on my tumblr under Black-Wolf066).

 **Bleebug** on tumblr had commented "Imagine Henry trying to explain internet memes to Killian." and this just got outta hand for me... I'm not up to date on memes so I used the ones that I knew and felt comfortable with using. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

Can You Not Be _'That'_ Dad!

Words: 1477

Rating: pg-13 to be safe, but mostly fluffy

Summary: "Imagine Henry trying to explain internet memes to Killian" "Or in which Henry comes to regret his decision, tenfold." with an added bonus of Wish Hook at the end.

* * *

The tap, tap, tapping of thumbs against a glass screen and the occasional snicker filtering into his ears from the living room, drew Killian's curiosity as he halted his laundry folding and moved to investigate.

Sprawled out on the sofa, with one leg thrown over the back, sat Henry with his talking phone ("Cellphone, babe. It's a cellphone. Or you can just call it a _'phone'_." he can hear Emma correcting in his mind) glued to his hand. With a tilt of his head as the lad chortled once more, he cleared his throat loudly and bit back the grin as he watched the distracted teenager jump back into the world of awareness.

"What's got you so amused, my boy?"

"Uh…" Henry muttered unintelligibly as he moved to sit up. "I… don't really know how to explain it to you." At Killian's raised brow, Henry rolled his eyes. "It's not that I don't _want_ to explain it to you, I just don't know _how_ to get you to understand. I mean come on, dad; it's been almost three years since we gave you a smart phone and you still call it 'the talking phone' or the TV 'the moving picture box'."

"Why don't you try me?" Killian challenged as he sat down next to the sixteen year old.

They squinted at each other for only a moment, with Henry weighing the pros and cons to the situation, before finally sighing and handing over the phone.

"Sorry lad, I think I hit something." Killian stated sheepishly as the image disappeared to be replaced with something new. "What's 'big mood'?" he asked curiously just as Henry snatched it back.

"No, that wasn't the picture I wanted to show you." Henry grumbled as he swiped his finger across the screen to get the right picture back, "I'll try my best to explain memes to you, but I'm not explaining that." at the suggestive waggle of Killian's eyebrows, Henry deadpanned. "No, not that either. Get your head out of the gutter, dad."

When the phone was returned, Killian took it and stared at the side by side picture in confusion, not quite understanding what it was he was supposed to be looking at. He vaguely recognized the first image, the familiar red and white ball at the bottom similar to the one in the game Henry had been playing a while ago. What had he called it, 'Pockie Go' or had it been 'Poke Go'? Whatever the blasted thing was, it was in the photo, with the rest of the image containing a black boot with a purple cartoon snake at the opening. In the second image (that was equally as confusing to him) was a cartoon man with a yellow checkered shirt.

"First, what am I looking at?" he questioned with a raised brow as he turned the screen to show Henry. "Second, what's a meme?"

"That," Henry started as he pointed to the picture. "Is a meme. It's the classic 'There's a snake in my boot' from the _Toy Story_ movie."

Killian tried desperately to school his features as he hummed and nodded, not at all getting it but not wanting to give the lad a reason to prove his earlier point.

But Henry knew the man better than that as he snorted and asked. "I thought mom made you watch the _Toy Story_ with her? It was one of her favorites of the Pixar movies… well that and _Monsters Inc_."

"I'm afraid we're still working our way through the list of movies and TV shows you two insisted I watch…" he stated with a shrug. "Why don't we start with what a _meme_ is, shall we?"

(***)

Henry was just making his way down the street to Granny's, his phone in hand, as he tapped on Killian's name and began typing out a message.

 _H: heading to the diner to pick up something before we go sailing, what do you want?_

He was just making his way up the steps when his phone dinged a response. Pushing through the door and making his way to the counter, he opened the text and snorted at the picture of a meowing kitten with the caption "If I can't haz cheezeburger, I settlz forz a toona sammich" in bold white lettering.

 _H: good one dad, you're getting the hang of it._

(***)

"Henry, you mind explaining why I just got 'Rick Rolled' by a centuries old pirate?" David grumbled at him the moment he entered the farm house.

Henry braced himself as Neal barreled into him, scooping his excited three-year-old uncle up into his arms and snorting at the disgruntled expression on his grandfather's face and the overly amused one from his grandmother.

"Not a clue." He stated innocently, putting the best poker face he could manage as he kissed his grandma's cheek in greeting.

"Why do I find that hard to believe?" he grumbled again.

"Alright, Charming, this is our date night. Don't ruin it by interrogating our grandson who was kind enough to babysit tonight."

It was as they were getting ready to leave, that his grandfather's phone dinged, and he watched in amusement as his pirate step-father trolled David once again.

"Henry, get him to stop!"

"Charming, it's not his fault you keep falling for it!"

(***)

At first, Henry had found the whole thing hilarious. He had been extremely impressed with how well the pirate grasped the concept of memes, and he found it entirely too funny to stop him from taking it up a notch farther and trolling Regina, Zelena or David every chance the man got. Even Emma encouraged it as often as possible; her and Snow finding the whole thing equally as amusing as he did.

But that had been before his dad decided to turn the trolling onto him, often sending him lewd memes while out on a date with Violet, to the point he often had to break the rule and turn the bloody thing off for how much it buzzed in his back pocket.

Killian was turning into _'that'_ kind of dad; the one toeing the line and dipping into the wrong side of embarrassing.

His phone dinged, he groaned, and his mother laughed.

"You gonna look at that?"

He lifted his head up to mildly glare at her, before burying his face once more into the crook of his arm; griping all the while. "No, no I am _not_ gonna look at it. You two are the worst!"

(***)

The bar his adoptive mother had owned for the better part of the year was filled to the brim with people as they celebrated the breaking of the curse. Henry had his wife and daughter back, Killian 'Rogers' Jones had Alice back, and Drizella's and Gothel's plans had once again been thwarted.

He happily sat back with his beer and watched as Ella and Lucy mingled with the others; watched the easy smiles between his mother and the man he had come to view as his step-father's twin; only to grow curious as to what the two were looking at on the screen of Rogers' cell.

The violent buzzing at his thigh, halted his curiosity as he moved his own phone out of his pocket, his curiosity turning to suspicion when he saw he had a text from Rogers. He eyed them from across the crowded room, both pointedly ignoring him as they talked to Alice and Tiana at the bar.

Bracing himself, he opened the text.

 _R: Your mother saw this and we agreed that it reminded us of you._

He opened the Youtube link, the title of the video seeming innocent enough until the familiar song and video began to play.

"Seriously!" he asked with exasperation the moment he stalked over to their crowded corner of the counter. "No one uses the 'Rick Roll' anymore."

"Still got you, didn't it?" Rogers stated simply.

"No," he pointed his finger up at him and shook his head. "I got enough of this from dad back at home, do _not_ start this too."

"Whatever do you mean?" Rogers asked innocently.

"No." he repeated with a glare of conviction. "I'm not doing this."

"Speaking of my other half, mind giving me his number?"

"So you two can conspire against me? No."

As Henry walked off in search of Ella and Lucy with Rogers following behind him; Tiana and Alice glanced curiously to see Regina texting on her phone with a wide, wicked, grin.

"Who are you talking to?" Alice questioned.

Regina snorted at the response of her text and placed the device back in her pocket as she replied. "Just giving Captain Guyliner in Storybrooke his twin's number." Refilling their glasses and clinking them together in cheers; she stated. "Just sit back, girls, and enjoy a little something I call 'well deserved payback'."


	2. chapter 2

This short continuation prompt was born simply because a tumblr user by the name **mochacake2016** requested to see it. (My Tumblr is Black-wolf066 for anyone interested)

Keep in mind that I'm still learning and trying to get comfortable with the voices for Tiana, adult Alice, Ella and Lucy. I don't want them to come across as OOC, so I've been keeping them in the background when writing, but with this little continuation prompt, I figured it was now or never to start experimenting right?

I'll begin to work on the next part of "Never a Dull Moment" sometime tomorrow or the day after, but for now I am putting a fork in this one-shot turned two-shot story and calling it done.

Also, for anyone looking for more Captain Cobra centered fics (like I was until I gave up and started writing my own because there just aren't enough to satisfy my craving), I have two others, but the one that i'm most proud of is **"Well, You Do Have My Chin"**. It was a prompt that had completely run away from me in terms of my earlier ideas, but I had absolutely loved writing every last word of it.

Anyway I'll stop ranting and let you guys read.

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 **Can You Not Be 'That' Dad! [2/2]**

 **Words:** 611

 **Rating:** pg-13 to be safe

 **Summary:** Just a mini continuation to the aftermath that was the last part, upon request.

Alice couldn't help but grin madly as she watched her father and Henry bicker out on the veranda. With the straw between her lips and slurping loudly at the soda contained within the glass; she finally twirled in her stool to face Regina and Tiana; her grin unrelenting as one blonde brow rose in silent question.

"Nah-Uh," Tiana beat her to the punch, wagging a finger at the bartender just as a curious Lucy and a very worried Ella approached. "With a commotion like that, you _cannot_ just leave us hanging now; give us the story, Regina, and don't leave anything out."

"There really isn't much of a story to tell," She answered with a roll of her eyes and downed the shot of bourbon she held in hand. "When my son was still a teenager, he thought it wise to teach our one-handed wonder's other half the world of memes. Sure it was funny for the first week and seeing Charming so disgruntled was definitely a plus, but it got old _very_ fast."

"So, what does that have to do with _now_? My husband looks like he's about to have an aneurysm, Regina!" Ella piped up, her eyes never leaving the veranda as she watched Henry sink into the porch chair and hide his face in his hands.

"It appears both Killians have similar tastes, and it's bringing back some memories."

"Woah, woah, woah," Tiana scrunched her face in disbelief. "You mean to tell me, Detective Boy Scout over there enjoys dabbling in memes?"

"Not as much as his twin, but yes; I have the proof of it on my phone if you don't believe me."

Alice's face only scrunched in confusion. "Never pegged papa to enjoy something like that..."

"They may have led different lives after a certain point, but they're still the same person at heart." Regina answered with a tender smile. "The only difference is your father had the advantage of a 21st century information dump, while the Charmings-Pirate-Mascot had to fumble and adapt his way through."

"Wouldn't giving Storybrooke Killian our Killian's number do more harm than good?" Tiana questioned. "If he's as bad as you say, you know you're going to regret it."

"Of course I'm going to regret it; but it's not like we can keep the two separated for very long, now can we? Besides, as much as I love my son; he and his other mother did absolutely _nothing_ but stand by and watch the rest of us get tormented." Pouring another shot of bourbon for herself, she continued. "So you'll excuse me, if I decide to relish in this moment for as _long_ as I can."

(***)

While the girls chattered inside; Henry was about ready to pull his hair out (or break his phone and never get it replaced) as he watched and listened to his father and 'uncle' connect over speakerphone.

"You know your son didn't want to give me your number? Said something about not wanting either of us to 'conspire' against him."

"Please stop…" Henry mumbled and slumped over the table; not at all caring that he wasn't acting his age at the moment.

"Now, why ever would we do a thing like that?" came the not so innocent reply from the receiver.

"You know what," he groused and stood to his feet. "You two have fun; I'll be blocking both your numbers in the meantime, just so you know."

As he left the veranda with both their chuckles following his retreating back; Henry couldn't help but think that it would be the two of them _—not_ his precocious daughter—to make his hair turn silver prematurely.


End file.
